Do you still have your period?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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