im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He better not be in your backpack
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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