Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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