The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize