i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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