well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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