sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
