I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize