think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
