I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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