I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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