I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
