I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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