The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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