Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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