whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
