And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
