I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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