when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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