is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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