Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
