And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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