Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
