my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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