You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
