what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
