Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
