I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
