I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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