the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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