I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
