I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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