that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
