end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
