We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
