Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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