Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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