great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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