after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
