I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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