porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
