I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
In America we eat man semen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
