Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
