? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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