Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
