Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
