What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
