i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
