pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
