DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
