Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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