I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize