I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
