This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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