We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
