At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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