I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
