Walk of Shame. In a state park.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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