Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
