What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
