How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize