I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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