so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize