halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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