Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
