from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
