In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize