it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
