After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
