I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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