Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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