I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
