All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
