You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
