David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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