I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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