Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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