is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize